One of the great things about getting older is that you learn that you can be more selective with the people and things you allow into your life without being consumed with unnecessary guilt. We've somehow earned the right, through all of our battles and struggles, to chose the energy that we let in.
I have spent a lot of time over the last several months thinking about the qualities that I want to develop in myself, and the type of person that I want to show up as in the world around me as well. One of the main things that I have discovered is that I want to both become and surround myself with people who understand the concept that there is more than enough room at the table for everyone.
Now in this day and age, you're probably thinking of course there's lots of room at the table we're only allowed six people (groan). What I really mean by this is that there are enough opportunities in this wonderful world we live in for everyone to achieve whatever greatness they desire and are willing to work for.
So much of society is living in a constant state of scarcity and want. They have had it drilled into their heads that if someone else has what they want, then that means that they can't have it as well. We live in a world so focused on Lack that they fail to see that there is in fact abundance all around us. Because of this, we hold ourselves back from encouraging or cheering on others who are pursuing their goals because we feel that it may mean that we can't.
In the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" Stephen Covey compared people that have a scarcity mentality to people who view the world as a pie. They believe that if someone takes a bigger piece of the pie (achieves success), then that means that there is less for everyone else. When in reality, life is an all-you-can-eat buffet.
So how are we to shift our thinking and go from the person who dreads someone else's success, to their cheerleader? How do we shift from Scarcity thinking to Abundance thinking? Here are a few techniques that you can try to implement into your life if you feel you are struggling with a sense of the Them vs Me thinking.
Write down all of the things that you are good at and why you are good at them. This will help you to see that you do in fact have your own unique qualities and things that you are good at. Let's be real, no one is good at everything. Focus on your own strengths, while understanding that everyone else has strengths different from you as well.
Work on Gratitude. I can't talk enough about how developing a mindset of gratitude will change your life. When you learn to focus on the things in your life that you are grateful for it will shift your focus away from the sense of lack.
Surround yourself with other people who have an Abundance Mindset. Get around other people who understand that when you lift one person up we all rise and that one persons' success just shows that it's possible for any of us. If they can do it, you can do it.
Make sure each day that you are leaving a positive message with one person in your life. By partaking in the daily practice of encouragement we shift from opponent to cheerleader.
Embrace the concept that "I am not behind, I am not ahead, I am exactly where I need to be!" Thank you Jay Shetty for the reminder that someone elses' success can just be an indicator that we are not yet ready and that there are other lessons for us to learn before we attain our goals.
When we are able to shift our thinking and start focusing on the fact that life has an endless amount of opportunities, we can become more open to embracing the successes of those around us, which will open us up to receiving our own successes. So pull out the chair next to you and invite someone to come share your table and celebrate each others' wins.